I considered the room again. My mind unfolded ways to stretch the space within unyielding walls. A shelf there, a shift here, an opening there for the bassinet… and then it hit me, again, like ten thousand bricks, “he isn’t coming.” Faced with the raw presentation of expectations that wouldn’t be met, I fell silent for a moment before my faith rose again. Miracles happen, I don’t have to know how. “Please, please, please, baby, if you can hear me, we want you.”
I prayed my womb was soft enough to hold him. He showed me his face in the feeling that rides on the branches of an evergreen pine. The sun shone on it’s needles. It was early spring, before the new growth and just after the stillness of winter left. It looked to me like a mountain, towering over my hopes and dreams with the power to reassure me and the power to set me straight. The wind allowed the audible whisper of the needles to reach my ears like twinkling rain, “hold on”, said the earth, and I could hear the smile in her tone.
And now he’s one.
When we look at our external world and more specifically other people we have two choices;
We can make judgments to fit them into our current world view OR we can consciously allow our worldview to expand by viewing them as an expression of source energy. The benefits of choosing the second option are unbound. The first option is continually limiting yourself and causes pain in every area of your life as you try to build and re-build the box that you are constantly breaking out of just to keep your illusion of security. Stay tuned for more videos expanding on this concept. Please like, subscribe and share!
I’ve always understood this conceptually:
When one is fully relaxed one is fully in harmony with the Universe as a whole, on every scale and level of existence, every other being, every thing, every vibrating particle, everything. This allows all parts to move fluidly, taking the path of least resistance which always provides the experience most joyous to the one who experiences it. Obviously, if every being was living this way our world would be completely harmonious and peaceful, no need would go unmet and each individual would have the full support of all others and the Universe at large.
I also understood this conceptually:
We don’t fully relax and let go because we look at our current reality and we are afraid. We then make decisions based in this fear which perpetuates it. The lack of fundamental understanding of one-ness, which includes the truth that we do not die but simply experience perspective shifts, gives rise to the fear that we can be harmed by another and inspires individuals to act out of fear which we call “protection” and “safety”. Actions based in fear do not ever produce true protection and safety. Actions made from any vibratory frequency (energetic starting point, emotional platform, mindset) are only able to produce more of that same vibratory frequency (energy). We look at our reality in any given moment and think that we need to protect ourselves from the “other” when in reality there is no “other” to protect ourselves from.
I realized this:
To escape from the conundrum of experiencing fear and reacting to it, which creates more fear to then be reacted to with more fear, we must stop reacting and instead choose to act. I put this principle in action in my life and in doing so continually see astonishing results that transform my world-view at a constantly accelerating pace.
And then I realized this:
I am not actually doing anything. I’m not taking any action or thinking any thoughts. I’m not making any movements, I’m not causing anything to happen. The person that I have imagined to be me (Charlotte) doesn’t exist. I (Charlotte) am a figment of a larger imagination and ultimately that imaginative being simply watches things occur in a self-organizing system. Ultimately, that imaginative being IS the self-organizing system and is self-aware. I have assigned an identity to a piece of this energetic information and then assumed that perspective identity to be me, allowing it set a boundary condition for my experience. I am, at will, able to extend the boundary condition to include any and all aspects of the whole and THAT is how I am able to get information from beyond my own life experience as Charlotte. THAT is how I get psychic information. It is available to all of us as this truth is universal. The self-awareness that allows me to experience myself is “consciousness”, it is also everything that is, is the “whole”, it is the “one”, it is “God”, it is the “highest power”, it is my “higher-self”, it is the “Universe”, it is everything. I am self- aware because of my nature as an infinitely dense vacuum in which information is exchanged constantly on infinite levels of size and density, informing that which I am not that I am not and that which I am that I am.
My experiment in this life is to learn/remember how to extend the boundary condition that defines and contains my experience so that I (Charlotte) am able to bring information and experiences from beyond the boundary condition that I identify as Charlotte into the 3D, earth reality that we share.
This understanding allows me to completely relinquish the imaginary control that I once held onto because I know now that I (Charlotte) the identity that I assume within these boundary conditions, does not actually exist as a separate entity from the whole. There is, therefore, no possible way that Charlotte can control anything because Charlotte is both the cause and effect in any given situation. Charlotte is the resulting boundary conditions that arise from the feedback of the whole universe. Causation moves in all directions and is not limited by time. Time is experienced only within the boundary conditions that produce the identity of the individual self. The individual self, in truth, cannot exist because there is no separation between that which the individual is and that which the individual is not. This implies that in understanding my nature as the whole, I am no longer experiencing as the individual. This means that I am no longer able to be a part of the illusion that I effect what I am not. This means that I am both the cause and the effect rather than the one who experiences the effect or creates the cause. Neither the cause nor the effect are created by me (Charlotte), Charlotte is simply an expression of the whole energy which self-organizes. In understanding that the system organizes itself by inherent laws, I understand that I (Charlotte) have no power and thus no control. I do, however have full control from the perspective that is my ultimate truth, the whole. When I allow the façade of the self to fall away, I relax, I let go and I am in harmony with the self-organizing aspect of the Universe which gives rise to all things. There is never a moment in which I am not a part of this system, it never ceases to create my experience within these boundary conditions. It merely works with the information that I produce within these boundary conditions. I give feedback to the whole about that which I am to create the boundary conditions continuously anew. There is no time but instead just a constant fluctuation in energetic resonance feedback that provides differentiation. I give feedback saying, “this is what I am”, which creates the experience of “that which I am not”. This is how I create my own reality with my beliefs. I create my own reality with the feedback that I provide to the whole. I choose the energetic frequency at which I vibrate in every moment and that determines what my experience is and is not. From the perspective of self-awareness, of the whole, of my true nature as not being defined by the boundary conditions that create the experience of the individual, I am able to choose with the full freedom and knowledge of the whole. I recreate my boundary conditions and tell the universe what I am in each moment. I have the choice to create literally any experience that I am able to imagine and any experience that I am able to imagine is able to be. So, I (Charlotte) am not doing, not controlling anything. I am, rather, experiencing everything through feedback loops that exist on an infinite scale.
What I’m working to understand from the perspective of Charlotte:
It stands to reason that if I have the power to consciously create at all, on any scale, that I have the power to consciously create anything on any scale. In other words, it stands to reason that if I have any power, I have complete power. Although I understand this and am able to release my illusion of control, why is it that I still cannot grasp the fullness of my power and experience the full freedom of choice? Why is it that I am not yet able to experience my full power? I know that to experience full understanding I must only choose to let go, again and again in every moment until it becomes always (a way of being instead of an act of doing). Moments are not actually separated either, the one universe is just continually experiencing vibratory fluctuation.
Answer: I am still choosing to experience myself less than fully. I am still abiding by boundary conditions that I put in place previously and that creates my current experience. I have the freedom to choose to experience my full power now. I find myself asking if it can all really be true though, if I can really let myself experience miraculous behavior. Yes. Yes it is true and yes I can. If I have not yet experienced it, I have not yet chosen it. As my awareness of myself expands, as my perspective continues to shift, as my boundary conditions continue to change and allow in more information, I am allowing myself to experience greater and greater harmony, miracles and expressions of ultimate power. I see how each moment brings me to a more expanded boundary condition in the next. As these two perspectives interact, that which is Charlotte and that which is the whole, I am continually being recreated.
I am going to perform miracles that baffle much of the world. This understanding of my true nature will inspire others and allow them to experience their full power, which is, of course equal to mine because any part is equal in potential to the whole. Great change is coming.
A few interesting things have happened lately that I’d like to share.
One: In meditation the other day, in a totally regular and routine moment, while I was putting my son down for a nap, a new energy came to me that I had not previously interacted with consciously. They called themselves, or it called itself, “Masters” and I received a flood of visions as well as auditory (clairaudient) messages. They told me that they were connected with me now and would continue to be accessible to me moving forward. They said they would help me receive psychic information. It felt like I got a whole new team of guides in one quick download! I remember thinking, “this is big but this moment is ordinary, I just expected that with something like this there would be more of a BANG!” Since then I have dialed into the “Masters” in meditation many times. It has only been two days but they have been consistently available to me and have answered all questions that I have allowed them to answer. They have also given me extra support and information that I didn’t directly ask for. I’m very excited to be working with this new energy! At this point I am not concerned with figuring out who or what it really is because I feel it is beyond my current capacity to understand. In the near future I expect to expand to a perspective where I can ask this question to the “Masters” with clarity and thus receive clarity in the answer. As of now I understand them to be one of an infinite number of divisions of God that holds a specific purpose, intention and application to my life.
Two: I manifested a tomato. A whole bunch of them actually! I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and the thought came to me, “I would really love to have a tomato right now!” I imagined myself eating it like an apple, biting into a bright red, juicy, delicious tomato and enjoying it’s tangy refreshment. I acknowledged that I didn’t currently have a tomato and I let it go completely, I didn’t think of it again. Then, after Frisbee, my partner, our kids and a friend of ours stopped by my partners grandparents house. His grandparents recently built an outdoor structure that includes a bar and mini fridge with a clear glass door. Up until this point the fridge has just held some beverages and other things that were of no interest to me. Through the door of the mini-fridge something caught my eye, a beautiful tomato! THE tomato that envisioned, on the vine AND a whole bunch more in a bag on a shelf below it! It probably goes without saying that ate the tomato. I also gave one to my daughter and brought a bunch home. All of you who are on a journey similar to mine, trying to understand exactly how we manifest as conscious creators of our own reality, you will understand the significance of this divinely synchronicity experience. I am using it as a blueprint in my attempt to manifest other things. I had very little attachment to the outcome of my manifestation. A desire arose, I enjoyed the thought of it and felt good thinking it. I let it go. It showed up along with even more than what I asked for. Boom. Let’s see what else I can do.
Three: I did not receive the grant that I was SO sure I was going to get. Again, I use this experience to try to understand exactly how my manifesting process works. I applied for a grant, I wanted it for multiple reasons. 1. The money would be very helpful to me. 2. The support would be meaningful to me to know that others were behind my vision. There was about four months between the time I applied and the this morning when I was told I didn’t get the grant. So, here is what I think happened. I told the universe that I didn’t really want it because my thoughts looked like this: I said, “I don’t need that money, that money doesn’t matter, because I want more money than that, I want SO much money that the amount of money this grant is worth will not even matter, I shouldn’t need or want this money because I want more money than this and I will not accept this grant allowing me to do or have anything because I want those opportunities to come in another way and specifically through me receiving so much money that I never have to even think about money, I don’t want this money I just want the support, I will not accept less than full support and abundance and so for this amount of money to matter to me I must not be where I want to be which I do not accept, I don’t want this money to matter to me, this money doesn’t matter to me but oh, wouldn’t it be nice to have it. I want money but not like that.” Wow. Look at that! I see now, in hindsight, how I was saying one thing aloud, “I want this grant” and another with my thoughts, “This isn’t enough for me so I don’t want it”. Which brings me to the fourth thing…
Four: Realizations around my relationship with money, the law of attraction and what and how I am manifesting experiences in my life are happening exponentially rapidly. I have discovered in the past week a handful of beliefs that have been preventing me from accepting the abundance that I actually desire. Typically realizations like this would come after months of “work” on a particular thought pattern. Now, realizations come to me like lightening bolts allowing past repressed self-expression to leave my energy field completely and cease to continue to create my reality subconsciously. The rate with which my subconscious beliefs are becoming conscious and being released baffles me. I wonder if others on this path are experiencing something similar. Some of my realizations:
a. My experience will not stop. Ever. Death will not be the end and achieving a goal that I’ve been working toward (experiencing complete freedom through abundance, full support by the universe, full guidance and full confidence) will not be the end of my journey. I realized that I’ve been worried that if I achieve a state of enlightenment that I will be done. That there will be nothing left to discover or to do. I’ve been afraid that if I understand my manifesting process I will have revealed to myself the great mystery and the fun of life will cease to exist. Not true. As soon as I became aware of this belief I laughed in the face of its absurdity, thanked it for its service and let it go. There is always more to discover.
b. It is not actually the manifestation of money that I want, it’s the security that comes with that idea. I want to have complete trust in the support of the universe, complete freedom to make any choice that I please with the resources to support me. I want to have an awareness of beauty and synchronicity in every moment. I’ve been wanting large sums of money as a symbolic representation of this support and freedom. Now, although I still want the same financial support, the place that I am experiencing this desire from has shifted. My desire is no longer coming from lack but from the delight in experiencing the fullness of who I am. I know that I am the Universe, in part and in whole, on infinitely divisible levels of awareness. The perspective that I am experiencing from is not separate from the whole and is fully supported by the fullness of the whole. All of the pieces are available to me. Now, in each moment I recognize that I have the choice to acknowledge the abundance and support that is here for me. With this, the wanting isn’t really there. I am more just open to experiencing things that fit this awesome feeling I have. It’s the power of choice. I know that I have the power to choose in every moment.
c. If I create the space, the desired experience flows into it. I have understood for some time that the perspective I experience as being “Me” is like an empty space that experiences flow through. My awareness is witnessing them and a more dense aspect of myself is making choices within 3D reality. It all works in layers which, ultimately, can’t really be separated but can be understood that way from this perspective. The perspective which is “Me” is continually shifting in each moment that is “Now”. When I have a desire and create the space for it manifest, it does. Every time. Without fail. If I have a desire and fill the space with thoughts of the lack of it, it has no room to come in to my experience.
d. It is my purpose in life to create and to experience myself through my creation – in other words, to express myself fully and freely.
e. There is no perspective truth that is wrong. Each persons truth is real and valid, regardless of if it is congruent with the truth of others. We do all create an agreed upon, collective, truth that each of us may choose to experience in our own way. Still, each of our perspectives is its own expression of the whole universe and can’t be challenged as far as whether or not it is the one correct way of looking at things or not. On the highest “level” or perspective, no one of our experiences can be seen as separate from any other, there is no right or wrong or morality or issues or problems or good or bad or any of these distinctions that we experience from our perspective of duality. We are blessed to be human, this experience is amazing!
f. I have the full power of the universe within me expressed through my ability to choose. I choose in every moment and am developing and increasing awareness of the choices that are available to me.
Five. There have been bright, royal blue cars and objects jumping into my awareness, pulling my attention toward them in moments when I ask the universe for support and when I am feeling “lucid” meaning that I am aware of higher aspects of myself or in other words that I am aware that I am not only this expression of myself but also the “dreamer” of this expression. I never used to notice royal blue cars and now they have popped out of the woodwork! I see them constantly, the more lucid I am the more blue cars and objects. I know that my awareness is always guided, this is the law of attraction. I attract into my experience that with which I resonate with. With this understanding I am able to experience the magic and synchronicity in my everyday life and make decisions that are based in my “knowing” or intuitive mind. These blue cars/things have signified a large shift for me in my potential to be guided 100% of the time. I am still working on discovering the full implications of my awareness being guided to these royal blue objects. Also, butterflies have been coming into my experience in a similar way and have a similar but different significance tied to the specific energetic frequency of transformation during this time of great transition for me. I am marginalizing my experience less and less and with that I am able to see the magic in all things and acknowledge my full support.
So, this is what’s been going on for me lately! I hope that my words meet you where you are having some parallel experiences that reflect the truth in this and give this information a place to rest within you. I’d love to hear your comments! Thanks for reading!
My grandmother is in her final hour and I’m not so sure it’s final at all. Where will she go? Is it a place at all? What will we find beyond space and time?
No longer will I make decisions based in fear, whether they be thought or actions. I’ve committed, many times, in pieces, to speaking and living my truth which is communicated to me by the feeling of love. I am always guided, as we all are, by emotional compass. Decisions that are in alignment with truth feel like love, those that are not feel like fear. No longer will I let the fear of others keep me from experiencing my true nature as a conscious creator of this world, as the sculptor of my own reality, as a realized aspect of Godx*. We all have the power to make this choice in every moment. Watch as the miracles flow into my life following this decision.
*I use the word Godx to express that genderless nature of “God”. God, being all that is and is not, the whole that we are all aspects of.
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When you’re just not seeing the manifestations your asking for, this might be why. How to stop feeding the beliefs that keep you living from a place of fear and limitation.
Looking at life purpose from multiple perspectives. What’s mine, what’s yours?