I am of the Earth.
It is right for me to roam her belly
like my nurslings’ hands,
who soften all my scars.
I am of the Earth.
It is right for me to roam her belly
like my nurslings’ hands,
who soften all my scars.
I’ve created worlds through it. You won’t convince me that it’s dirty.
I’ve heard my ancestors whisper through it, and scream through it and beckon me to walk through it.
I’ve melted into it.
I’ve become reborn through it.
I’ve come through it.
I listen to it.
I bleed through it.
I’m new through it.
I speak through it.
I pray to it.
I pray through it.
I don’t have paper in my hands or my pockets but these people… they let me have whatever I want because I have imaginary numbers.
I put my piece of plastic and magnets in their plastic magnet machine and it says,
“Yes. She is worthy of the thing. Give it to her now.”
They hand me the thing. It’s mine now.
The plastic metal viewing machine says that I have 4,563 numbers left before I run out of numbers and then they won’t let me have the thing anymore.
They gave me the numbers when I filled out the form. I told them the name for my face was Charlotte and they said, “You are 6,000 numbers.”
Sometimes I do things and people give me more numbers.
Sometimes they get mad at me because they don’t have as many numbers as I ask for.
I wonder how many numbers I’m worth if I just stay put, do nothing and rest.
My daughter wonders how I put numbers in the bank and how paper turns to plastic and plastic to symbols on a screen and then into the cookie I promised her if she didn’t touch anything while we were grocery shopping.
My daughter wonders why sometimes Mama doesn’t have enough numbers to get the cookie… or the groceries.
I tell her she exists between one and zero and that the numbers there don’t come apart. I tell her about infinity and how she springs again and again from the well of information that is stillness in her heart.
I tell her that by the time her age reaches the number of mine, that no one will count numbers for cookies. That her heart will be enough. That her heart is enough.
I tell her to plan for the fall of Capitalism, that imaginary numbers won’t last. I tell her that I don’t know who gives us all the numbers but that we are taking them back. That we are between one and zero. That we are the space between the numbers and that there is no space between the numbers and she asks…
for the cookie in my hand.
Among giants I walk
looking for the tiny.
The smallest medicine popping from the earth as if to say, “I haven’t forgotten but I needed some time. You know, how sometimes you just need more time?”
And then I ask, “with so many places to grow, how do you decide?”
and they speak of the giants.
The birds flutter and merge with them.
The snakes spin around them.
The squirrels say, “this is home. I can be upside down here.”
And I long to feel like home is within me and surrounding me but instead I feel…
the acid in my stomach. I hear my organs churning and mixing things. Preparing for the medicine I’ve yet to find. I’m amazed that my body and these plants are communicating beyond me. They say, “shhh. Just let your eyes land. Let your feet fall softly on us. Let your inside listen to its out.”
Water murmurs. What’s it’s story? Who have you carried? You flood the feet of the giants. What are you bringing?
I rustle branches.
It feels good to be among giants.
I remember staring at the wrinkle above your nose, two days old, knowing it would go away.
Torn between gratitude for today and gratitude for tomorrow, you taught me how to be thankful.
Each moment that passed in the night, each night that passed in that first week, I’d wake up and say, we made it.
And now, you’re three.
And you still breastfeed.
When my nipples were bruised and bleeding and I cried before each feeding and your Dada helped me hold your chin down so you could eat, you taught me I was determined.
I remember loving your sweet cheeks that were the softest ever on the planet and not wanting to wash the white out of your hair.
I knew I couldn’t get back what I had and it wasn’t going to last and I was scared to move forward but now the past is just the past and you are sleeping in your bedroom with your baby brother and tomorrow we are going to the zoo because time has carried us here and there is ever more to be to let go of.
You birthday present waits for you to open it.
I love the memory of rubbing you in coconut oil and how your fat little baby legs danced over your changing table. I told myself I wouldn’t forget it. I won’t.
You’ve taught me that I am sharp.
You’ve taught me that I am patient.
You’ve taught me that self-love is remarkable and that forgiveness is natural.
You are my moon and stars and space between, sweet Maya Rose.
You are my eternal child sweet honey dew, forever stretching me, supporting me, guiding me and showing me my truth.
What ever you become I’ll love you.
<3 Love always, Mama
There is a HUGE shift happening in our sexual energy – our ultimate understanding and expression of self. From my perspective as a woman I am discovering what it means to be my authentic, sexual self!
In this video I explore what it means to be a sexual being, how it feels to be sharing that truth with others and what it’s like for me to be in a mirrored partnership during this discovery process.
As this continues to unfold for me I will post videos sharing my perspective, so, please SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel to take part in this ongoing conversation.
Also, feel free to add your experience to the comments as to how this shift in sexual identification, sexual expression, sexual partnership and sexual energy as a whole is effecting you!
Lastly, check out more from me on http://www.mamarose.blog including the Healing and Support services that I offer YOU as you move along the journey of the collective shift in consciousness.
Those of you who know me know that I make my videos when inspiration strikes! So, although I’m usually in my bathrobe with terrible lighting – my videos are heartfelt expressions of my vulnerable authenticity and I have no doubt that you’ll feel the value in that.
Thanks for watching!
<3 Mama Rose
A peek at what it currently looks like for me to create a song from an open/receptive/meditative/channel state. I’m always so excited to see what comes out! It’s been difficult for me to relax enough to let words flow without having a plan for how they’ll fit together, what they mean and what the overarching message is. I’ve been practicing this state for some time now in a variety of settings artistic and otherwise. It’s getting easier for me and it’s getting to be SO much more fun!
I am now writing songs each day from this state and they often come much more quickly than this. Sometimes I actually hear the lyrics and melody and instrumental accompaniment (which includes everything from acoustic guitar to a full orchestra) BEFORE I allow anything to come out of my mouth or hand if I am writing. Sometimes, it comes like this, piece by piece. I first noticed I was able to hear music and lyrics in my dreams and in the state right between sleep and wakefulness. I made a practice getting comfortable and familiar with and increasing the frequency in which I was in that “between worlds” state. I started to notice that I experienced a similar receptive state during meditation as my practice evolved. Then, I began to learn to cultivate the receptive state in my “regular” waking life. This paired with the “flow state” I had been familiar with since childhood when inspired songs, writing and other artwork would just “come” to me effortlessly. I am now at the point where I can consciously choose to create from this channeling state. It has been a life long goal of mine to freestyle rap.
I remember being in the hallways of my middle school watching and listening as a group of my friends* freestyled and being amazed at the poetry of the words as they painted concepts, the rhythm as it unfolded so organically and how each player in the circle played off of the others. I believed it was just something that some of us have and that some of us don’t and that since I was unable to do it at the time, I had no hope of learning. It wasn’t until young adulthood that I changed my mind and opened myself up to remembering how to relax enough that the freestyle state of consciousness would become available to me. It wasn’t until I picked up momentum on my spiritual awakening journey, my remembrance of self and my true nature, that I realized the freestyle state was rightfully mine. This is the same expanded state that I work from when I do energy healing and psychic readings.
I love writing this way, I love listening to what I created after the fact and realizing that there is layers upon layers of meaning that comes from so deep in my being that I would never have been able to “think” it into creation. I know that freestyle rapping is on the horizon for me and that confidence is the only thing I am working on to get there. It’s all about allowing and I am remembering how to do that more and more in every moment. I am remembering that I am safe and that I belong to this universe just as it belongs to me, we are one and I am a limitless, infinite creative being.
*Xavier Bradley “Exxe”, Dan Dean and Matt Dean – Thanks for sharing your gifts and passions from a young age. You were all huge influences in my creative and spiritual journey in multiple ways.
When we look at our external world and more specifically other people we have two choices;
We can make judgments to fit them into our current world view OR we can consciously allow our worldview to expand by viewing them as an expression of source energy. The benefits of choosing the second option are unbound. The first option is continually limiting yourself and causes pain in every area of your life as you try to build and re-build the box that you are constantly breaking out of just to keep your illusion of security. Stay tuned for more videos expanding on this concept. Please like, subscribe and share!
Charlotte “Mama” Rose – Poetry – Aftertainment Networking Conference at Amsterdam Bar and Hall at Amsterdam Bar and Hall.
Spanish at 1:19
You Are at 4:30
Maya at 8:30
Freedom to Move at 11:30
My Son at 14:40
Nathan’s Song at 17:20
Poetry performance by Charlotte “Mama” Rose at Honey Minneapolis for Queen Minded, put on by Mac House, 9/6/17
Maya at 1:13
Freedom to Move at 4:10
Inner Me at 8:30