My daughter needs a hike in the woods more than she needs a “morning meeting”.
She needs to learn that time moves in a spiral more than she needs to memorize a calendar.
She needs to learn each letter as we write together “EVERYTHING IS ENERGY” carefully tracing our way through conversation and dotted lines.
She needs to know which berries are safe to eat.
She needs to hear her mother speak nothing but kindness over her body and her spirit.
She needs to know that the chores don’t get done without her because she is a vital part of why our household functions. That She matters. She is a part of a community. A team. A family.
She needs to know her mother can see her purity and that no word or deed can tarnish that vision.
She needs to know her mother will hold that vision and nurture it, gently calling her back to it if ever she loses it.
She needs a hug every time she asks for one.
She needs “be aware” more than “be careful”.
And “what did you dream of last night” more than “hurry up and get ready.”
She needs to know her art is a valuable contribution to the world now, not “when you grow up to be an artist.”
She needs me.
Me, the one who she says makes her feel strong and like she can fly.
She tells me that the bubble of energetic protection we practiced placing around her in meditation last night wasn’t cuttin it. She said I am her bubble. She said I make her feel safe.
She needs me, the one who she says “knows EVERYTHING” to say, “I don’t know” sometimes. To say, “let’s figure it out together.”
She needs compassion more than she needs to “learn a lesson.”
She needs my time, my touch, my attention, my priority, my love.
She needs me to keep what Covid has taught me and never take on too much again.
To keep this pace that honors her being and doesn’t rush.
To Never get lost in the guise of capitalism’s definition of success or education.
Those ideals were never mine and I gave them back.
My babies have me now, more than they ever did before and more than I ever knew I could give them.
Last February a voice told me, “A year from now you will hold twice as much light”, and I couldn’t imagine how. Now I’m starting to see it.
And feel it.
My babies deserve the world but not the one I grew up in.
So I give them EVERYTHING I am so they can create a new one.